Why is it that Springtime always seems to be when everyone has babies or everyone is announcing there are babies on the way? Although it's been a few years since we had a baby, I remember those newborn days like it was yesterday. And somehow, at the same time, it's all a blur. If you have kids, I'm sure you know exactly what I mean.
Today I want to talk to you about what a mom of a newborn actually wants from visitors. And honestly, if you're not doing one these things, maybe wait awhile to visit.
Let her shower
Oh… the early days with a newborn. I remember being covered in breastmilk and spit-up (thank you to my reflux child, Owen) and still not taking a shower for several days. I mean, what was I supposed to do with the non-stop crying baby while I was showering?
And yes, I know they'll be fine in the crib for awhile while showering, but I just couldn't do it and I'm sure I'm not the only one. When Owen was a newborn, we also had a 2.5 year old Charlie at home. Having both of them outside the bathroom while I showered only would have stressed me out more.
We all know you want to hold the baby when you visit, but instead of just holding the baby while mom sits there and stares at you, tell her to go shower! I don't mean halfheartedly, I mean make her go take a little me-time and go shower while you've got the baby thing handled. Or maybe even take a bath. Bring a bath bomb with you just in case!
Take some pics
For this one, I don't mean selfies with the baby. If you're a decent photographer and maybe have an actual camera, do mom a favor and take some pictures of her and her new baby. Looking back through those first few weeks, I have our newborn pictures we had taken by our family photographer and then a bunch of phone camera selfies.
We all know Dad isn't snapping a bunch of pics (though we secretly wish he would), so you could definitely volunteer to do this. Even if mom resists, she'll appreciate them some day when the baby is not so little and cuddly and those crazy newborn days are long gone.
Bring food
Seriously, no one turns down food. I do suggest you ask mom what she would like though. Bringing food no one wants is not very helpful. If you can, bring extra so there is enough to feed everyone for another day (leftovers for the win!).
You could pack a couple of lunches for Dad to take to work with him. Yes, Dad should be able to pack his own lunches, but maybe Mom is usually the one that does it (or grocery shops for them) and given my choices, I'd rather Dad be able to help at home with the kids than spending his time packing his lunch. Or maybe pack some peanut butter & jelly sandwiches if she has older children as well.
Bringing breakfast? Sure! Everyone always does casseroles and thinks about dinner, but people have to eat all day.
We recently discovered Garden Lites and I think they're absolutely perfect to bring to a new Mom. I found my Garden Lites Muffins at Shop-Rite! You can find yours in the freezer section of your nearest Publix, Stop & Shop, Giant, Shop-Rite, HEB, Kroger or Costco.
Did you know that only 1 in 10 Americans eat the daily recommended amount of veggies? I'm sure busy, new moms are a large reason for that! Vegetables are the first ingredient in every Garden Lites product, from muffins to waffles to bakes and veggie cakes. It's true! Yes, Garden Lites Chocolate Muffins are 33% vegetables! I've tried them and they're delicious!
Your new Mom friend will be able to keep those yummy Garden Lites products in the freezer and they're ready for whenever she needs them (breakfast, snack, or dessert)! I love having things ready to grab and eat, especially something that's packed with veggies!
Oh, and if she has older kids that need fed some extra veggies without adding to the stress of life with a new baby? The kids will gobble these up without even knowing there are veggies in there! We'll call that a win for Mom!
Make yourself useful
Mom has a million things she thinks she needs to be doing, like laundry, dishes, vacuuming, and running errands. Help her out! She'll probably never ask, but offer and don't accept no for an answer!
Stopping at the store? Give mom a call and make sure she doesn't need anything picked up before you head over.
If Mom has older kids, take them out of the house (to the park, trampoline park, or anywhere really) to let them run around, get some energy out, and give Mom and much needed break.
Be a good friend
A good friend doesn't need a drink, something to eat, or entertained when the pop over. A good friend will take the baby, give mom and breather, and be an ear for her to complain about anything and everything to.
If you're visiting a Mom with a newborn and she offers you anything, don't accept it. You should be there to help her, not have her wait on you. If you have kids of your own, please leave them at home. While it may normally be fine to bring them over, kids are full of germs and always seem to need food, get out toys, and make messes in general. New mom may say it's cool to bring them, but let's be honest: it's not.
Wanna be a great friend? Let mom nap while you make yourself useful!
I'd love to hear your thoughts on what you actually wanted from visitors when you had a new little one.
Really great advice! I think all these things are also good to do if you have a sick friend also.