On our way home from vacation, Tom and I were talking about our upcoming trip back to Myrtle Beach. This one is kid-free though. He said we need to start working with Owen on cups because at 11 months, I’m not giving him a bottle. I don’t think there’s a reason to start him on a bottle at this point. He’s had so few of them that we probably shouldn’t try to introduce one now.
Let’s just say the cup conversation led to tears. Luckily, I wasn’t driving at this point, but still… here we are on our way home from a wonderful vacation and I’m crying about giving my baby a cup. But… that’s not really what I was crying about. I’m going to be away from my baby for almost a full 5 days. For a breastfeeding mom and baby, that’s going to be really rough. I need to start building up a bit of a supply for the freezer to use while we’re gone, but at the time, that was the least of my concern.
What if Owen won’t nurse when I get home?
That was all I could think about. He’s going to be so sad and feel deserted. I know he’ll be in good hands while we’re gone, but there’s nothing more comforting to a baby than Mommy. I love that I can instantly soothe him by just putting him to breast. How awesome is that? Really… it’s that easy most of the time.
I’m not ready to quit nursing him and I’m sure he’s not either. As a big supporter of self-weaning, it makes me feel incredibly selfish to just disappear from him for so long. I don’t want to rush his breastfeeding journey. It’s certainly had its rough spots, but I will absolutely miss cuddling that little boy and making his entire world better by one simple act.
Yes, I know we will have a great time on a little vacation just for mom and dad, but this is not how I want our breastfeeding experience to end. I just hope and pray that he’ll still want to nurse when we get back.
If you’ve breastfed your children, I’m sure you understand what I’m saying. It’s hard to express what that feeling is, especially to someone who hasn’t breastfed.